FLWL – From Lahore With Love

This week, Maryam Akram, a well-known Pakistani illustrator, writes candidly about motherhood, ambition, and the courage to begin again.

By Maryam Akram

I became an illustrator in the midst of the pandemic – a time when the world felt suspended and uncertain. We had just settled into a new life in New York when, barely six months later, everything changed. With a toddler permanently perched on my hip, I knew watercolor and traditional tools weren’t practical. Then my husband gifted me an iPad and Apple Pencil, and quietly, a new door opened. That moment marked the beginning of my journey into digital art.

Initially, I illustrated purely out of passion. As a new mother, there was a hunger in me to carve out my own space in a world where people only ever asked what my husband did. That question enraged me more than I care to admit. I let that anger fuel my productivity. I began creating small, sometimes angry, illustrated notes on the roles of women in marriage, relationships, motherhood, immigration, and life in NYC. My consistency eventually led to my work being seen online.

Another driving force came from the realization that after marriage, my husband had become my primary source of income. One of my dreams was to buy my own lipstick with my own money, and somehow, my dreams started funding me. It was a relief to know that I am someone – that I could stand on my own feet after feeling lost in both marriage and motherhood.

My drive helped me enter the competitive Pakistani digital art market. Early on, I understood that passion alone wasn’t enough; it had to be paired with consistent effort for real growth. This was an important realization, especially since I had no formal training in digital art, or art at all. The market expands and contracts not based on our past, but on our skill set, and so I began working on myself consistently.

There were days when I had to challenge myself to complete assignments within tight deadlines. With a toddler and countless other obligations, I came to understand the true value of time and how to make it work in my favor. I set early morning alarms (I called them my dawn alarms) and they helped me buy back time. That persistence began to show in my work, and more opportunities came through word of mouth and my commitment to meeting deadlines.

Later, however, my own growth stalled as I allowed household responsibilities and personal challenges to take precedence. I had another baby and realized that, over time, my children would need more of me. With so much happening, I put away my iPad and Apple Pencil, though I would sometimes open the drawer just to touch them. They weren’t just tools; they were my friends…reminders of my self-worth and the growth I had achieved.

Eventually, I let the difficulties in my life dictate my path, and I began shrinking as a person. We often tie so much of our identity to our relationships, both new and old, that we forget to live for ourselves. I felt the need to get back on my feet once again, reminding myself that my children would not need me forever. While there is freedom and privilege in raising children and working from home, I also learned that the market doesn’t always understand this balance.

What the market requires from us – beyond determination – is constant effort to build ourselves over time. I realized that my freelance work wasn’t lucrative enough and that I needed to rebuild. My skill set was limited, as most online jobs required trained, specialized expertise that I lacked. This understanding helped me humbly accept the need for guidance. I began learning Adobe Illustrator and Photoshop, and I am now on my way to learning InDesign under the instruction of my teacher, Hammad Sayed.

For new illustrators or anyone entering this field, you are more than welcome…but understand that growth suffers when we limit ourselves or refuse to adapt. Another change in our field, AI, may feel intimidating, but it’s important to build your career around not only your technical skills, but your interpersonal skills as well. When a client approaches you with a proposal or collaboration, honesty paired with understanding their needs is what will set you apart from AI. Use this shift as a tool that uplifts you, not as a threat.

To young mothers who have lost hope in rebuilding themselves, and to women in their late thirties, forties, fifties, and sixties…know this: we have time. We can learn and grow at any age. Our personal challenges are not meant to lead us to dead ends; they are opportunities for growth. I find inspiration in mothers who commit to their own upliftment. I once met mountaineer Anum Uzair at a school event, and she shared that doing the extra 1% sets her apart, it gives her the drive to keep moving forward. Making room for yourself before making room for others gives you momentum. And really, this is everything.

It’s all connected – your growth, your challenges, and how you navigate them. This essence is what makes you indispensable.

The author is a stay-at-home mother of two. Her work explores the everyday beauty and challenges of motherhood, cultural feminism, the experience of living abroad, and themes close to her heart, including Urdu typography and heartfelt duas. Now based in Abu Dhabi, Maryam shares her work on Instagram at @kashimirichaiandbooks.